Soap Mending

I used to see a lot of memes on Insta about following your dreams, really inspirational stuff. You should never give up on your dreams and I really believe that. Its important to hold onto your dreams.

So I thought to myself, what are my dreams? Have I forgotten what my dreams are as I have got older? Have I lost sight of that idealistic boy who once thought the world was his and he could do anything?

So I thought back to my childhood and I remembered one Christmas getting a soap on the rope. But this wasn't just any soap, it was a novelty soap. In fact, it was a Sesame Street character with its little body and head with the rope coming out the top, just like in the photo.

But there was an inherent flaw with this, because having soap in the shape of a character meant that its neck was its weakest point and before I had even really used the soap his head broke off.

So I have soap in the shape of a bear, and its head on a rope. But I didn’t get down about it. I checked the break and I could fit the surfaces back together perfectly. So I made them slightly damp, pushed them together and held it there, until it re-fused. You may think that it broke again in use but it didn’t. That fuse held, even to the extent that when the soap was used, I could see the line of the break, but it didn't break, it held together.

And I knew then that my dream was to be a soap mender. Not just any soap mender, an international soap mender, possibly the best in the world. I had the skills, they'd been proven in the field of battle.

The ideas started flowing. I would start a business fusing soap back together, and not just novelty soap, not just Sesame Street characters, I knew my skills were totally transferrable, I could apply this to any soap. Either fixing two soap bars the same back together, or going one step further, fusing two different brands of soap together.

I thought I would probably set up the International Guild of Soap Menders, we may run and apprenticeship scheme for trainee soap menders looking to learn this artisanal skill. I would probably be its chairman.

And ever since then, whenever one bar of soap has got a bit small, I don’t let it fall down my plug potentially causing a blockage, I get a new bar and within a few showers compete the perfect fuse.

And thats what makes me think… don’t follow your dreams, sometimes you dreams are fucking stupid. Sometimes you should forget your dreams and just get a job in an office until you can think of something decent to do with your life.