On Being 50

50 is a strange age. It does sound very old. it’s half of 100. I don’t think I’ll see 100 so I have less to go than I’ve already done.

When I look at my parents it feels like I have ages left. They have a 50 year old son. That could be me in 30 years time! 30 years! On one hand that sounds ages away. On the other, as time goes so quickly, I’ll reach it and also wonder where the time when.

I read an article recently where Doctors were giving someone an MRI scan and he had a heart attack and died before they could get him out. It meant the captured his brain activity at the point of death. Parts of his brain triggered which indicates that his life flashed before his eyes.

The day before I read that article I woke up from a dream where I had reversed the car (accidentally) over a cliff, I experienced it falling but then woke up and at that very moment I was still experiencing what was in the dream. In the dream, I had an instant moment of fear but then a wave of euphoria wash over me and my life flashed in front of my eyes and time slowed down (a known phenomenon that humans experience in times of danger). I wasn’t afraid or scared. I knew what was going to happen, but I felt content, resigned, but fine and in some ways happy.

it wasn’t very pleasant to wake up at that moment, it was disturbing to see how unaffected I was by imminent death.

Dreams like this are supposed to mean that you feel out of control with certain aspects of your life and that is true right now. But only the usual things that people deal with normally, work, health, happiness, money, family. In the scheme of things, everything is fine.

At 50 death still feels like a distant concept. But I am going to resolve to try and make every day count. I still have to work to pay the bills, But I can enjoy everything I have, and I feel like I have a lot and for that I am grateful.

Ukraine Watch

2 weeks in to the Russian invasion of Ukraine.

Why am I interested in this more than a conflict in other parts of the world? For the same reason that I’m more worried about someone smashing things up inside my building, than I am with someone smashing something up I’m Australia. it’s nothing to do with skin colour. If I was white but lived in Yemen. I’d be more concerned about conflict there than bombs in London. That rant just covers that one point I've seen being paraded on the news this week.

Although the EU have now taken in nearly 2 million refugees within 2 weeks but when they were coming from Syria it took them 2 years to reluctantly take that many people and while this is on their border so will be more interested you still have to wonder what the main difference is between Syrians and Ukrainian's.

The EU has seized a couple of yachts. That’s good. The U.K. has been slow on sanctions. You can move a yacht but you can’t move a house in Mayfair. More needs to be done to put pressure on Russian oligarchs. These are the people who have done a deal with Putin. They get rich and remain untouched by the Russian state, in return they support him. They will review this support if they cannot enjoy their money and assets.

And to this end, I have added a page to this site with a list of 10 Russian oligarchs, the boats they are believed to own. I have been unable to get the links to work properly, but it will take you to a page showing their current location.